What were you like as a child? When did you stop believing in God? What mad you turn Gay? Why are you so angry?

Naive, ignorant, without bliss and not very religious. My brother turned agnostic and started to be pessimistic, I found myself doubting, this was at age eight. I got suicidal thoughts for around 12 years and snapped out of them when I heard God, I became very religious after that.